When it comes to growth—whether in the classroom, at work, or in personal endeavors—feedback is vital. But there’s an often-overlooked skill in this process: how we ask for feedback. If we don’t ask the right questions, we set ourselves up for vague, unhelpful responses that don’t contribute to growth.

Let’s dive into why asking for feedback in the right way matters and how to master this art.

The Problem with Vague Feedback Requests

Imagine this: you just led a class or a meeting, and afterward, you ask someone, "How was it?" or "Did it go well?" The response you get is something like, "It was good." Does that really help you? No. It’s too broad and vague, and it leaves you with little to no actionable insights.

When we ask general questions, we receive general answers, which don't foster growth. And sometimes, in these moments, the person asked for feedback may even resort to "skirting" the feedback or, worse, giving a dishonest answer to avoid awkwardness. This happens because we’ve been taught to be polite, not direct—and we often aren’t trained to ask for or give feedback in a way that promotes learning and improvement.

Why Clarity is Key

The missing piece in most unproductive feedback conversations is clarity. To receive feedback that you can implement, you need to be specific. Before you ask, take a moment to reflect: What do I really want to know? What am I looking to improve? This pause helps you avoid questions like, "Was it good?" and leads to more targeted queries like, "Was there anything unclear in my presentation?" or "Which part of my lesson was most engaging?"

The clearer you are with your request, the more useful the feedback will be.

The Formula for Asking for Feedback

Here are three steps that can transform your feedback conversations from vague exchanges to powerful learning opportunities:

1. Be Specific
   Know exactly what you want to learn. If you’re seeking feedback on a meeting you led, instead of asking, “How did it go?” try, “What part of the meeting could have been clearer?” This opens the door to constructive responses that actually help you grow.

2. Listen to Learn
   When receiving feedback, resist the urge to justify your choices unless asked. Your role is to listen and understand. Ask follow-up questions if necessary, like “Can you tell me more about that?” But avoid defending your decisions, as this can shut down productive feedback.

3. Express Gratitude
   Always thank the person giving you feedback. You’re not only showing appreciation for their time, but you’re also reinforcing the culture of open communication and growth. And don’t stop there—consider inviting further feedback or scheduling another time to revisit the changes you’ve implemented based on their advice.

Building a Feedback Culture

This approach shouldn’t just be personal; it’s something you can and should teach others. In schools, this can be transformative. Imagine the impact on teachers if they regularly asked for specific feedback and applied it to their lessons. Imagine what could happen if this culture was modeled from the leadership down, where both asking for and giving feedback were practiced openly.

Here’s an idea: incorporate feedback training into your PLCs and team meetings. Spend time discussing how to ask for and receive feedback effectively, and practice it. It’s not just about hearing what went well—it’s about digging deeper and making meaningful improvements.

Handling Vague Feedback Requests

What if you’re on the other side of the conversation? If someone asks you for feedback with a vague question like, "Did you like it?" here’s how you can respond:

• Gently guide them by asking, “What specifically would you like feedback on?” This helps them narrow their focus and gives you a clearer understanding of what they need.
• If it’s not the right moment, offer to meet at a later time to discuss in more detail. In the meantime, encourage them to think of two specific areas they want feedback on.

These small shifts can make a big difference in the quality of feedback being exchanged.

Final Thoughts

Mastering the art of asking for feedback takes practice. Start by identifying something in your near future where you can apply this approach. Whether it’s a presentation, a meeting, or a lesson, be clear about what you want feedback on, listen with the intent to learn, and remember to thank the person giving it.

When you commit to this process, you not only grow personally but also foster a culture where growth, learning, and clarity are the norms. It’s a game-changer for your leadership and for those around you.